bleu blog - BLEU dammit! I haven't read your blog in days, yet this story of your father and the girl is making me weep as I sit here. (note to self, add bleublog to list of blogs....)

And, Tina. Please try not to worry about me toooo much, kay? You have been really a great source of support, and I'm muddling through ;-)
posted by deb at 4:54:09 PM | Link Me!

Please don't worry too much about me I'll get through it. And hopefully all my hair will still be in my head ;-p. Let's see, some suggestions for Rachel. Does she have a CD player? Are there any favorite books she has? I have a goddaughter that is 10 and I will be getting her a new copy of Harry Potter (book 2) which disappeared at school, some book ends, a cool Harry Potter day runner kid of thing (found at Barnes and Noble) and some bath stuff - she loves the stuff from Limited Too and Bath and Body Works. Will any of THAT be of help?
posted by deb at 4:44:18 PM | Link Me!

And The Bride Wore... Go for some giggles....
posted by deb at 4:04:14 PM | Link Me!

Please, please please don't feel about about not being there for me. (#3) You have your own problems and your own demons right now. The least thing you need to do is worry about me. 'kay?
posted by deb at 11:09:38 AM | Link Me!

Good idea, Leslie Anyone else interested in joining the "Day Without Weblogs" Cause? I even have a personal story that I will hold to share that day..something that I haven't thought about in ages, ''cause it makes me sad....
posted by deb at 8:31:20 AM | Link Me!

I care!! I care!!! Actually, with the way you have it set up at blogspot, it automatically archives for you. No coding or other worrisome stuff necessary!!!
posted by deb at 8:05:52 AM | Link Me!

Are you more YIN or are you more YANG?

Ahhhh! I promised!

You're familiar with the little black circle / white circle thing, right? the Yin Yang.

This is the positive side of being more Yin: inclination to calm, sensitive, creative, fertile imagination
This is the challenging side of being more Yin: tendency to get depressed and feel insecure; inability to articulate ideas or complete assignments

This is the positive side of being more Yang: alertness; ability to think on your feet, ability to focus in any surrounding, communicates easily
This is the challenging side of being more Yang: tendency to rush, tendency to jump to the next project before finishing the present one, irritability, impatience

Yep, I'm more Yang, what about you??

I'm reading a book "Feng Shui Goes to the Office: How to Thrive from 9 to 5" Remember my frustration earlier about my desk and how I needed to "re-do" things? Well, I bought this book to help me.

In the Yin / Yang avenue: Since we all have a unique proclivity toward either yin or yang, excessive stimulation in the direction in which we are naturally aligned could be detrimental to functioning.

So bring me more Yin influences! Give me a variation in lighting (yes, I've added a desk lamp, thank you) Feeling tranquil is a yin condition: use lavendar.... Remove Clutter! (well, working on that one *g*)

And what about Chi...

I thought about my dear friend DQ when I read this passage:"A few colors don't fit precisely into the element categories. One is purple...Because a violet wave of light cannot be seen by the naked eye, purple is associated with that which cannot be experienced directly or is otherwordly. It is not unusual for those in spiritual practices to gravitate toward purple..." You are one of the most centered folks I know, and your beliefs in what ya believe in affirm that YOU are a purple dragon :-)

Wanna know more about Chi? Chi is the expression of life. Chi can be seen, heard, smelled and touched. All things emit a message and that message is the root of Chi.

If you are interested, let me know :-) I'll be happy to share with you what I learn along the way.

And checking around...

I noticed some referells from Patti's Blog (I really Must Insist You Leave) and was shocked! It's one of my daily reads, and Patti doesn't know me from Adam, but she added me to her "i miei amici
favoriti del blog" list. Thanks! She is always just so witty, and her posts say so much....and unlike me, she doesn't ramble :-) (I especially liked this "(This is where I usually insert the comment - Did I say left me? What I meant to say was he accidentally fell on top of his secretary and forgot he was married.)"

And Misty. Misty, Misty, Misty. I've been thinking about you today. Yes, I can guess at least 2 of the 3 folks that know this about you, and can't help but think that I'm one of the folks to blame. I'm so glad that we have talked and have worked at mending our fences. I missed you when you are away, and cannot thank you enough for the support you give others around our web communities.

And last but not least, thanks to all of you that have e-mailed me (or called) to check on me. Yes, I'm going through a rough time. But your concern and your love means so much to me! And You should NOT feel guilty about not reading everything right away....my whine was about those folks who lurk and never support. You are ALWAYS supportive, whether you read something the day it posts, or a month after it posts. And yes, I got your e-mail - did you get mine *g*

Health stuff...

I finally broke down and called my ob/gyn's office today. "I'm losing my mind" I told the nurse. And we talked a minute or two, and the nurse tried to get me to understand that I STILL don't have any hormones yet, and likely still will NOT have hormones for another two to four weeks (the only good side of this is no period until Jan. or so). Her first response was to just "explain to my family" that I will be more back to normal in a few weeks and they just need to bear with me and live with it. "But I simply cannot function like this. I cannot sit at my desk and cry over different things - I have turned into a raving lunatic" So she called in a prescription for me, just to calm me down a bit, just to help me through this final phase of this treatment.

I picked up my prescription after lunch today. Hopefully these "chill pills" will chill me out a bit, and help me focus.

See, I don't like taking medications. I'm hard pressed to pop advil with a headache. But if it means the difference between me seeming normal or me seeming like a total flake, hey, I'm willing to try it. I don't want something as a crutch. I just need a little help pulling my big ass over this hill.

Oh, and the hot flashes are back.

So, it's not a trickle of hormones, but my body still fighting me 'cause there are NO hormones.

Big hugs all around. Bear with me....
posted by deb at 4:44:54 PM | Link Me!

I have fucked with my template so that I can fix a line up problem and now it won't work.

will someone please help me??
posted by deb at 10:56:46 AM | Link Me!

hellllllllooooooooo
posted by deb at 10:53:24 AM | Link Me!

And yes, it's Thursday

I know, no clean little slate to start the day, but after the loss of a week of bloggin, i made myself learn the proper way to archive things. Blogger's week starts on Sunday or Monday, so when I do graphical changes, they won't happen til then. Oh, and the last 7 days of posts will hang around..

Coming Soon to this blog near you:

Are you more YIN or are you more YANG?

me, I'm more Yang.

Details later :-)
posted by deb at 6:14:24 AM | Link Me!

Is everyone ok?

I'm here! I swear. And so far today, no weepiness, no tears. Hooray!

I cannot thank you enough for your e-mail yesterday. I know I haven't responded yet, but I will! As you can see below, I deleted all of my spewing. I think it was a combination of stuff piling in on me yesterday.

And I simply snapped. Hopefully I've pulled that back together now, am glueing the pieces of myself back together, and won't break into tears over the issue of visitors vs. posts or salaried vs. hourly manufacturing vs. hourly office, etc. See, it wasn't just my life on the web, but a combination of the boards, work, kids, husband and my body.

I think that hormones are beginning to trickle in a bit, thus making me more prone to tears than not. Though I'm doing nothing out of the ordinary for many mothers out there (getting the kids ready for school, taking them, picking them up, etc) it's not my ordinary routine and it's stressful. I know deep down that my kids are NOT the norm, and dealing with them takes a ton of energy. I see people with much calmer children looking at me as if I'm a total idiot 'cause I'm fussing at my kids and they aren't doing what I need them to. My opinion: take my kids for a week and see if YOU are the calm cool collected mother you are with your children. :-)

And I think I mentioned that Mark is home this week in the evenings? Well, I love him. He is my best friend and my soul mate. But that stuff doesn't get you through day to day. He has his way of doing things when he's home, and his way includes sighing when I'm on line too much, keeping the TV turned on, etc. We get in bed and he tells me he's going to sleep, so I open my book, and he wants to talk. we talk, he rolls over, I pick up my book, and he starts talking again, asking WHAT I've learned so far in the book I'm reading. HELLO! I'VE BEEN TALKING TO YOU, I HAVEN'T BEEN READING! LOLOLOLOLOL. And the girls and I have a groove in the evenings, a way we do things. We each pursue a personal interest (yes, even at 5 Katie has some personal interests!) but Mark imposes things like a cooked dinner and the kids cleaning their rooms (for me, it's FRIDAY nights that we clean).

Jesus, are you still with me? I'm rambling a bit, aren't I?

Oh, and work yesterday really sent me over the edge. I found out that though we were originally scheduled to be open the day after Thanksgiving, that now they are considering closing. No big deal, right? Well, for the salaried folks, it isn't. But though the shop hourly personnel are "guaranteed" a 40 hour paycheck when we have holidays, the office hourly personnel are *not*. So, yes, you can take the day off, but it will be WITHOUT PAY. I'm sorry, but I NEED my entire paycheck. I have bills to pay, and a budget to live with. And that budget includes making my minimum paycheck each week. And as much as I would love to have a mental health day, or spend the time prepping the house for Christmas, or shopping, I need the money. Simple as that. I tried to talk to some folks about the issue yesterday, but because things are "always" done that way, it isn't seen as an issue. It really hit me hard. See, cause it's not just ME, but there are other folks, too. And I simply don't see that it's fair. I was in tears no less than 3 times yesterday over this issue. After discussing things with my former boss (the lady who isn't my boss anymore, but still supervises the bulk of the administrative staff), I went to the bathroom upstairs and cried. Not weepy tears, not little drops, but gut wrenching crying, just to allow it out of my system. She agrees with me, if the office is going to close, then folks should be paid 'cause they aren't choosing to take the day off. (THURSDAY is a holiday with pay, but Friday is NOT a holiday).

I hate myself at times for feeling so strongly on issues. For allowing what I see as a lack of fairness, as an issue of doing for one but not the other, to hit me so hard. Yes, part of it is hormonal, but godamnittohell, the office hourly people need a paycheck just as much as our hourly shop folks do. Damn, just typing this is making me all weepy. But much of it is anger, not just the sense of it not being fair, but anger. And I need to get in the shower....
posted by deb at 6:10:17 AM | Link Me!

Whew!

There. I deleted all my ranting posts about The Other Side.

Sorry if you read them.

At least I got them off my chest for a bit, but I wasn't comfortable leaving them up there. Sure don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Besides, who wants all that bad karma ;-)
posted by deb at 8:13:49 PM | Link Me!

i'm still very weepy. I had many many things to tell you guys about Feng Shui...really cool things...but I just can't get them out. this wall around me is keeping me from expressing what I need to,
posted by deb at 4:13:44 PM | Link Me!

And JEN! In my book, you can have the "official keeper of the links" title :-)
posted by deb at 4:12:13 PM | Link Me!

Blogger Tip For the Day...

Want to have a heading or sub-heading within a post? (like my little note about that says "Blogger Tip For the Day"? It's called header tags! This is how your do them:

< h4 > Text < /h4 >

As a reminder, remove the spaces after and before the little < > marks. Want it bigger, choose a smaller number. Want it a bit smaller, choose a larger number.
posted by deb at 3:12:35 PM | Link Me!

i'm not having a very good day. i think it is likely hormonal, but i have been a bit weepy...
posted by deb at 2:51:08 PM | Link Me!

This and That...

Whew! This sure has been a week!

I mentioned yesterday that Mark has been at school this week. What does this mean? Well, he has been getting up around 4:30 AM. Because he cannot live without working out, he is working out over at the Q in Richardson. He is leaving the house sometime between 5:00 and 5:15. He leaves the school around 4:45 PM and is making it home around 6:30. Does that give you a clear picture of me and the kids this week? It means that I'm responsible for getting the up and going for school / daycare AND getting them picked up.

Well, last night, I had all of these things that I wanted to blog about. But now I find that I don't have time (sorry!) This full responsibility is putting a crimp in my style *g*

OH, but I AM working on my ARCHIVE page. After losing that whole week of posts from the way I was manually archiving, I finally learned the *correct* way to do it.

Check you guys later - already have a blogger tip of the day in mind.....
posted by deb at 6:18:21 AM | Link Me!

My Day - yesterday and today...

Did I tell you that Mark is at a school this week? It's both good (in that he's home in the evenings) and bad (in that he's home in the evenings). See, the girls and I have a set routine. We LIKE our routine. We are USED to our routine. And he doesn't seem to want to be on our routine. More later on that subject, as I need to vent a bit, but it can wait....

Oh, and a preview for you blog readers. Wanna see Mart's "good side" according to Laura S? He'll be posted later today, but isn't he just perfect?
posted by deb at 12:31:04 PM | Link Me!

lucy.com | Enell Inc. - sports bra Jeeeeezzzzzeeee! $52.00
posted by deb at 11:19:47 AM | Link Me!

Wanna know the difference between "Post" and "Post and Publish"

If you know you have mis-spellings, or want to elaborate on something, click post. It will put it in Blogger, and record the time you had that "thought", but it won't be public to the rest of the web community. You can edit it, or later go back and simply publish it.

Post and Publish takes it live. You can still edit it, though.

Sooo....if your posts are in blogger, but don't appear on your web page, maybe you only posted them...
posted by deb at 9:26:04 AM | Link Me!

Ahhh, haaa! I found a Blog Tip that someone needs:

To CENTER the Title of your blob: < P ALIGN="CENTER" > Title of Blog (or the Blog Coding thing that likely says < $BlogTitle$ >) < /p > Except you need to take out the spaces between the < > symbols and all of the letters.
posted by deb at 8:46:14 AM | Link Me!

I MUST rearrange my desk. Yikes, yikes, yikes!! I need ORDER!!!

And thinking about the next tip of the day....coming soon to this blog near you ;-)
posted by deb at 8:29:31 AM | Link Me!

YOU already have them!! It looks as if BlogSpot codes them into the time thing. So by clicking on the time of your post, I am now linking to it. :-)
posted by deb at 8:25:47 AM | Link Me!

did it post? Grrr! Blogger! A Love / Hate Relationship!!
posted by deb at 6:27:00 PM | Link Me!

Ahemm....attention please...

And now time to unvail yet ANOTHER Blog by a friend. Hooray for Shana!! See, our little blog community is growing by leaps and bounds...and from what I've heard, we can expect even MORE sometime soon :-)
posted by deb at 4:12:10 PM | Link Me!

Permanent Links....What a perma-link does (like my "Link Me") is allow anyone to link to one particular post. See in my "Better Instructions" post? It goes directly to Misty's post.

Hmmm....let's talk abit about how I make links when I do my blog. Lots of times, I open TWO windows. I have blogger open, and then another browser window open, and switch back and forth between the two. Other times, I use the "Blog This" right click thing-y.

Do this:

Click on any "Link Me!" post on my page. It should take you to the very top of that post. Then you can right click if you have Blog This installed, OR simply copy the web address that appears in the browser. Then use that link to link to a post of mine. Does that make any sense? OH, where are Trixie and Honey now so that they could better explain what we are trying to say *g*
posted by deb at 3:31:18 PM | Link Me!

Better Instructions: Go to BLOGGER and go as if you are going to post something. Click on the "Template" at the top of your post screen. Put your mouse into the template (this is the white screen with all the html coding). Then click on "Edit" "Find (on This Page)" and enter "Author". This should take you to the right spot. Add "Nickname" between "Author" and the "$" Then SAVE.
posted by deb at 12:58:54 PM | Link Me!

Don't want to sound bossy...

But does anyone with a new blog want "blog hints"? Things to make doing this easier? If you don't like them, then tell me to shut up *g* but I e-mailed Misty a blog hint over the weekend, and she liked it, so here is

hint #1: Go to your settings, and scroll down to "Browser Shortcuts" And install the first one. It will allow you to right click your mouse, and get the exact address of something. That's what I used to link to Tina's post down below. You will be given the choice to just post it or post and publish. I usually post it, and then go back in and edit later.

hint #2: Do you want your FULL NAME at the end of every post? Or would you prefer to use your Nick Name? I use my Nick Name "deb" insteald of my Name "Debra Smouse". To change this, you will need to change part of your blogger template. Find the string of text that says "< $BlogItemAuthor$ >" and change it to "< $BlogItemAuthorNickname$ >" (minus the spaces between the < and $) Then save your template. Once you publish, it will change all of your posts....

So, is this helpful? Useless? Let me know!
posted by deb at 12:02:40 PM | Link Me!

Tina, Tina, Tina... RANT! You must get it off your chest! Once you have kids and become a parent, you SHOULD be concerned about your child at school. The parents have a right for their child to be educated, and with closed communication like you seem to have, how does the school district employees EVER feel appreciated? It's as if the parents are the enemy! Sheesh!
posted by deb at 11:06:08 AM | Link Me!

Perma-Links!

AH! Jen! You wanted to know about the eye! Well, I took the little eye away, and replaced it with a simple "Link Me!" text. Let's see if I can clearly explain what "Link Me" means....If you click on this link I have to your blog, it takes you DIRECTLY to the post you made about my eye. So, even a week from now, this link will go to that post, even if you have made 50 posts. It's called a "perma-link" by blogger. Cool, huh? So, I added perma-links so that anyone reading my blog could make a direct link to my post. You can test it by clicking on the "Link Me" and it will move you to the top of any post, and if you look in the browser address line, you will see that it now points directly to my post.

YOUR link it (as the other folks using blogspot) is programmed to be at the time / date point of your post.

WHEWW!!! Does that make any sense?
posted by deb at 10:50:28 AM | Link Me!

Misty!! You are sooo welcome! I'm really thrilled that you did it! I think you will find it a very useful tool, and it will help center you, if that makes sense. OH, and Rachele looks BEAUTIFUL!!!

YOU are welcome! I'm just sooooo thrilled that everyone is bloggin!!
posted by deb at 8:44:51 AM | Link Me!

Ah, ha! NOW I know what I did wrong on the permanent links. Will fix them in a bit :-)
posted by deb at 7:08:42 AM | Link Me!

More Friends...

And I want you to now welcome my friend, Tina. She was the first person to ever comment on my blog, and we had talked about her doing a blog, but because she is AOL, there were issues. Now Blogspot will support AOL users!!! Something I didn't know. But as soon as Karen's blog worked, I knew that Tina's would too!! Check her out, she is added to my list of blogs....
posted by deb at 6:24:22 AM | Link Me!

damn, the "link it" things do NOT work. I'll have to look at them tomorrow...
posted by deb at 7:16:24 PM | Link Me!

grrrr!!!
posted by deb at 2:33:16 PM | Link Me!

ahhhhhhhh!!!! errors everywhere!!!!! will fix tonight....
posted by deb at 2:30:50 PM | Link Me!

I'm so excited!!

I have more friends doing blogs! First there was Jen. Then Misty e-mailed me. Now Karen! I have another friend that I'm helping out with one, and I'm guessing she will be ready to be "public" soon. And I've dropped e-mails to two other friends that have mentioned wanting to do a blog.

WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!
posted by deb at 10:53:05 AM | Link Me!

Let's see if this works...

I added the little "link it" thing, and I wonder if it works?
posted by deb at 10:40:50 AM | Link Me!