Rather than my usual thoughts of this and that, today, in honor of A Day Without Weblogs, and AIDS awareness day, I offer you some personal stories of how AIDS has touched my life...

Kevin Austin…

I met Kevin in 1992, though I had heard about him since 1988. He's my husband's cousin - just a year younger than Mark. They grew up together, as close cousins often do. Kevin's mother, Charlotte, was the first one of Mark's family to tell me that she loved me.

I met Kevin at a family reunion in 1992. The Romero Family Reunion was big. Mark's mother, (who had died before Mark and I married) as well as Charlotte belonged to a generation of fourteen children - and being a good, hispanic Catholic family, most of the brothers and sisters had several children. Emily was just a baby - barely walking.... I remember her fishing by the river...

Kevin was there, and he made a great impression on me. He was a very good looking guy - young, well-spoken, intelligent...What a catch he would be to some lucky lady. He had finished Med School and was serving as an intern at a big hospital in Honolulu, Hawaii - a far cry from his original home of Las Cruces, New Mexico.

His mother, Mark's Aunt Charlotte, had a fast changing life. After 10+ years of being a widow, she had found someone to love - and they were planning to marry. His older brother had a successful business and two children. His sister was pursuing her law degree.

A year later, I got a call from Charlotte - she was going to see Kevin in Hawaii, but this was not to be a pleasure trip. Kevin was sick, and they didn't know what was wrong with him.

It turns out he was HIV positive. Seems that early in his career as an intern, a needle had gone through his gloves. That one slip cost Kevin his life.

The disease progressed rapidly with Kevin. His mother, recently married and starting on a new life, had her world turned around - her baby was dying and there was nothing she could do about it, except be there. (I couldn't find a picture of Kevin today, but here is his Mother with Emily...)

I remember talking to Father Gregory at our church - and remember what very little comfort he could offer me - empathy, yes. sympathy, yes. But I never felt any comfort. How could God do this? Allow a disease to destroy a once healthy young man. And he didn't fit the "norm" of what you expected in an AIDS patient. He was not gay - he did not have unsafe sex. He was a doctor.

That's a point in my life where my faith cracked....and I couldn't help but wonder - where is God? Why did He allow this?

I can't help but think of Kevin, and all of his family today...
posted by deb at 9:39:39 PM | Link Me!

Joe Brown…
First I want to tell you about Joe. Joe Allen Brown was the first openly homosexual guy I knew. He was my college Theatre professor at Texas Wesleyan University (I graduated in Dec. 1989 with a minor in theatre and was fortunate to attend college with a partial scholarship from the Theatre department.)

Joe was the first person to support my marriage. Yes, as a college freshman, I found the love of my life, and we decided to marry that summer. I got such grief from my fellow college friends - WHY marry? Why not wait til after college? Folks were convinced that I was simply pregnant, and that I would never return to college. I didn't get that from Joe. He was in a long term relationship with a great guy, Gary. I was amazed at the similarities between Joe & Gary and Mark & I.

For the rest of my college life, Joe understood that I, as a young married woman, was a bit "different" from my peers. And though he may not know it, his support helped so very much. No matter how happy the life, it is difficult to be the "different" one, especially at that age (I was 19!).

Joe taught me a lot about the theatre, the difference between this nail and that nail (he is a master at StageCraft), and he taught me a lot about life. He also taught me a lot about tolerance.

I grew up in a small town. Homosexuality was NOT the norm, folks. This was a mainly Baptist town, where these folks were considered depraved - and or course were condemned for their lifestyle. Can you believe that there are STILL folks like that? That are so judgmental? Ya know, folks are folks. They are born how they are born - it is NOT, in my eyes, a deviation, but a difference.

Homosexuals are still people - they have the same hopes and desires as us heterosexual folks. Joe changed my attitude - and I would just bet if you are still a prejudice person, you might change your mind if you just open your mind, and close your mouth.

Though I didn't know it at the time, Joe was HIV positive. Still is. And I'm so glad to know that he is still out there, still working, still spreading his love of life, offering support to college students.   He runs a kick-ass Theatre Department. Here is Joe and I (I know, I know, I look NOTHING like now, remember, I was a young thang) right before my college graduation.

I think I need to send Joe a note, I've been thinking about him a lot.  Need to let him know what his support meant to me.
posted by deb at 10:32:47 AM | Link Me!

Want to know what you are on the Kiersey Temperment Survey? You can take the test here... And I'm an ENTJ...
posted by deb at 3:51:45 PM | Link Me!

Hellooooo! so, ya think you can draw him for me, beth, and put a nice face on him??!! I like what else I see so far....
posted by deb at 2:33:00 PM | Link Me!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

I will be so glad when this stupid party is over over over
posted by deb at 2:21:52 PM | Link Me!

And what test told you...that you were a Buddah? I wonder if I have taken that one? What color is your aura?
posted by deb at 11:28:51 AM | Link Me!

About the oddball posts. Well, they are harassing in my opinion. And, YES, I DO now know where I-95 is - it goes from Maine to Florida. I have traced the ISP back to AOL, though can't verify 100% the specific AOL person, I have an idea. Notice that this SAME person posted about I-95, asked how anyone knew for sure that Miss Trask's name was Margery. Also, this exact ISP as the person who harassed Cathy over at Jixemetri a couple of months back. Does that tell you who I think it is?
posted by deb at 11:26:50 AM | Link Me!

Ahhh! Family Time! I'm so excited for you. Now how long have you two been married??
posted by deb at 8:16:41 AM | Link Me!

And I see lots of things in your blogs, ladies, that I want to respond to. Maybe I can have some lunch time web time to catch up....

OH, and I need to fix the link to Jen's Blog, heard from another person that wants to start one (I know I owe you email - I'm terrible about response these days) and know of someone else that has actually STARTED her blog, just not gone public yet......
posted by deb at 6:23:34 AM | Link Me!

Did I mention to anyone that I will be participating in "A Day Without Weblogs"? So far, there are 431 websites participating in some way to support. Don't know what it's about?

"A Day Without Weblogs is"part of a global observance of World AIDS Day on the worldwide web. The response to this project has been incredible, with over 400 participants as of this writing. Combined with other Internet and real-world observances (see below), your efforts as a personal publisher taking part in DWW represent an enormous opportunity to enlighten, educate and motivate thousands of readers to positive action toward eliminating HIV/AIDS. " I got an e-mail from Brad this morning, reminding me about tomorrow, and giving ideas on how to observe: shutting your site down, taking art down, relating a personal story...

I'll be chosing to share a couple of personal stories - one about a wonderful man named Kevin - the first person that I personally knew to die from AIDS related issues; the other about my college professor Joe, still living as an HIV positive person....
posted by deb at 6:15:56 AM | Link Me!

geeze, guys. I didn't mean to offend. maybe I should just keep my rantings about things that irk me on The Other Side to myself? I sure don't want people thinking I'm talking about them, when I'm not. Didn't mean to accuse or hurt anyone...
posted by deb at 6:07:18 AM | Link Me!

ok. confession time. I'm a shoe string dork. yes. you heard right. i'm a

shoe string dork

One of the hardest things to do is to tie shoe strings and have them STAY tied. I remember in kindergarten, the VERY last skill that was checked off on my report card was tying my own shoes. And now I wonder if I ever made it, or if, out of pity, my teacher just checked it off - LOL.

Last night in cycle class, not once, but TWICE, a shoestring came undone, wrapped around the metal part of the pedal. enough that I couldn't move the pedal after a while, had to STOP, get off, get my foot out of my shoe, and unwind the shoestring (it was quite tight at that point) from the pedal.

Oh, and I did say it happened not once, but twice, didn't I?
posted by deb at 8:42:12 AM | Link Me!

Grrrrrr

Ok. Mark is home this week in the evenings again. And he's fucking up my routine.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE having him home. I like to talk to him, like that he's here and in bed before midnight, etc.

But he's fucking up my routine. Have you noticed that my blogging has slowed down these past couple of weeks? Last night I was on line for 10 minutes, 22 seconds. Long enough only to quickly check my e-mail - and started whining - when are you coming to bed. Mentally, I've come to NEED my blog - going here to pull my thoughts together, think over the day, think of what I need to do tomorrow or next week. Shit, my thoughts are scattered enough these days without not having a few minutes to "re-group".

And not just my on-line time. He spends a good 10 minutes pulling out in-grown whiskers, etc. IN FRONT OF MY SINK. See, we have two sinks. I have the one on the right, he has the one on the left. The one on the right is by the medicine cabinet with the mirror you can get close to. Maybe that's bitchy, but all of my things are at my sink - face cleaner, contact case, moisturizer, etc. Last night I went into the bathroom to put on some eye cream and moisturizer, and there he was - blocking my sink again.

So I said "fuck it" (see, fuck is my favorite curse word) and turned the PC on. Of course he was out of there and in here asking when I was going to be done before I knew it. And I SWEAR I was not on line that long - when I disconnected my connection, I had been connected 10:22 - and that counts all the time it takes for pages to load, etc. etc.

Spinning Class

And yes, we went to spinning class last night (since he was off last night, he met me at the gym). It was a good class. They didn't turn the air down, so it got hot pretty quickly. (we are in an enclosed room - 17 bikes plus an instructor's bike). We were doing our "kareoke" kind of class, with musci most of us knew, and the instructor was encouraging us to sing along. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore - we were fogging up the windows of the classroom within 20 minutes, so I got off my bike and propped this big plant in front of one of the doors to let some air in - the instructor propped open the other door.

THEN a really great Aretha Franklin song came on, and we all began singing - and clapping. And the other folks at the gym began stopping and staring. Maybe if we were loud enough, they will remember to turn the air down next time...

OH! and don't let me forget to tell you that I'm a true Shoe String Dork....gotta run....
posted by deb at 6:26:24 AM | Link Me!

Testing. Testing. Is this thing on??!!
posted by deb at 4:41:33 PM | Link Me!

More Tests at E-Mode!!

Who's Your TV Family? The Cleavers
White picket fences, pearl necklaces, lots of "golly gees"... Sound familiar? It should, because your family is most like Leave It to Beaver's Cleaver clan. Traditional and as all-American as apple pie, Ward, June, Wally, and the Beav are your TV soulmates. Never a dilemma that can't get solved by Dad in under 22 minutes, never a crisis more serious than a school bully or a chore left undone. Sure, the gender roles might be a little stereotyped, but as long as everyone's happy, what's the big deal? And being happy all the time is what matters, right? Don't let that frown turn upside down! Presuming your mother has yet to discover women's lib, why not head home for a hearty home-cooked meal right now? As long as you don't invite that scamp Eddie Haskell over to join you, everything should work out just fine.

What's Your Stress Style?

You're The Soother. When trouble strikes, you somehow seem to avoid being hit. Those around you may encounter crises, of course — which is when you launch into action. You're best at helping others ease their stress, offering a kind word or a well-timed "everything's going to be okay." You're a walking affirmation!

Of course, wearing a smile all the time can be exhausting. Even you have to admit that we're all only human, and stress happens to the best of us — including you. When you find yourself under stress, you may have to fight the tendency to shut off the phone, crawl under the blankets, and hide from the world. But it's worth it to show your true feelings, even when they're less than upbeat. Let the people you've nurtured in the past help you out in your time of need. You deserve the attention. And tomorrow is another day! So take it easy. So, what's YOUR Stress Style?

posted by deb at 3:34:42 PM | Link Me!

Here are my answers to the Questions posted by Patti on her blog over the holiday...

What is your favorite word?: "Don't know if I have a favorite word.  The word I tend to use the most is "fuck". Oh, WAIT.  A favorite word that ISN'T a cuss word.  Hmm.... How about the word persnickity? I like how it sounds.  P E R S N I C K I T Y.   And in my writing, I have the horrible habit of using "..." way too much.

What is your least favorite word?: I can't.   and the "oh, I love the stories on your web site! (but I simply don't have time to post)"

What turns you on?: a well-written piece of erotica, kisses on the neck, candlelight, having the children out of the house...

What turns you off?: badly written piece of erotica.  children knocking on the bedroom door, even though you tell them to go away...

What sound do you love?: Pachabel Canon in D...laughter...silence...

What sound do you hate?: whining.

What is your favorite curse word?: I'd have to say "fuck".Not only do I say it, but I think it and I type it.  Sometimes it's "fuck me!"  There are several ways to creatively use the word.  try it yourself....

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?: Oh!  I know!  I want to be a singer / actress that acts in Broadway Musicals.   I LOVE show tunes - Oklahoma!  Annie.  Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.   Music Man... (piece of trivia here - I went to college on a partial theatre scholarship)

What profession would you not like to participate in?: Day Care Worker. Having to deal with all the messy moments of kids that aren't my responsibility?  Diapers. Snotty noses. Yuck!

If Heaven exists what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gtes?: "Welcome" and "You are forgiven"
posted by deb at 2:47:52 PM | Link Me!

..::Bloggin' On The Bayou::..LOVE the new fallish look, Leslie! Some link it probs, but I will e-mail you....
posted by deb at 9:18:53 AM | Link Me!

Happy Sunday...

How is everyone? Most of you had a long weekend, has it been good? I'm behind on my bloggin readin again, so many blogs, so little time ;-)

The Coffee Haus...

Did something with the girls that I haven't done in AGES. We made the trek up to North Arlington (trek - well, it's a good 20 minute drive) and visited the Coffee Haus. This was the place I discovered my true love of coffee, may daily stop long before Starbucks hit the Arlington area. It was a good 11 years or so ago. I was working at ABC News, we didn't have kids. And there was this little hole-in-the-wall coffee place, that had fresh roasted coffees. Yes, I said fresh roasted. They purchased green coffee beans, and roasted it themselves - there in the store. It was a tiny place - narrow, about 30 feet back - only about 8 feet wide. But I went in on a regular basis, bought cups of coffee, pounds of coffee.

A few years later, they expanded - moved into a larger space. This was after Em was born, but before she reached the age of 3. (see, our memory ages, and we can remember exacts - just generalizations). I LOVED the expansion. And it was at a time in my life where I was getting more into self-discovery. I had a job nearby, so I stopped in daily to get my coffee - they have this really cool way of serving, where they fresh load a drip thing, pour water in, and viola! fresh drip coffee - wasn't even sitting in a pot made - LOL. I visited occassionally for lunch, too. And in the evenings or on the weekend when Mark was working, Em and I would make our way there. I loved the looks on the faces of new clerks when she asked for a biscotti - and she dipped it into freshly made cocoa with a pile of whip cream on top. Other things are really cool about their expanded location. They have a fireplace, and it's gas powered. A Comfy couch. Checkers, chess, and backgammon. Oh! and two computers with internet access.

Don't work up near there anymore, and just don't make the trek with two kids (amazing how a second child changes the things I used to do...) But this morning, I wanted to go to Whole Foods Market, and it's near there.

I had a Cafe Mocha, a far cry from my regular plain coffee. But a treat. Something I only get ocassionaly. Sometimes I need to treat my palate ;-) Girls had cocoa. I had a danish (blueberry) as did Emily (cherry) and Katie had a Cinnamon Raisin Bagel w/ strawberry cream cheese. They actually got along. Played checkers / chess (in a way, no real rules). And we chatted with a nice stranger....

Conversations with strangers...

When is the last time you conversed with a stranger? I mean more than a hello? I actually had a conversation with a man (a lawyer from santa fe visiting his folks) We mostly discussed the kids, but all the same, it was nice. Actually confessed my websites..and gave him my url....
posted by deb at 12:37:02 PM | Link Me!