Grrrrr! So much to blog about so little time.....

Need to hop in the shower before Cathy gets here - we are meeting Karen and Misty in Hillsboro - I think that Limarie and John will be there as well - not sure about any others....
posted by deb at 7:19:57 AM | Link Me!

I got a note last night from a little bird telling me she was sorry for bringing up this issue with me. But it's not like SHE brought it up. It was some on-going feelings. But now that I got it out, I do feel better. Thanks to everyone for their kind words of support....
posted by deb at 3:54:16 PM | Link Me!

Confession Time

I love historical romances. Love 'em. I call them trash novels 'cause I never have to focus too hard on them, can just enjoy the words and the story. I even have a couple of favorite authors - and I read most of what the two write (Johanna Lindsey and Catherine Coulter)

Well, I keep a book with me at the gym. I can't ALWAYS be on one of the net-bikes reading blogs and message boards and fan fic. So Tuesday, I took Gentle Rogue with me to cycle class.

Well, the teacher read the back cover aloud.

"Heartsick and desperate to return home to America, Georgina Anderson boards the Maiden Anne disguised as a cabin boy--never dreaming she'll be forced into intimate servitude at the whim of the ship's irrepressible captain, James Mallory.

The black sheep of a proud and tempestuous family, the handsome ex-pirate once swore no woman alive could entice him into matrimony. But on the high seas his resolve will be weakened by an unrestrained passion--and by the high-spirited beauty whose love of freedom and adventure rivals his own."

Damn, it sounds so very stupid read out loud....
posted by deb at 11:29:49 AM | Link Me!

"Self-Love, The Crown Jewel" Visit it for a good read - I think we all need to learn to love ourselves - and accept ourselves for how we ARE and not how we WANT to be. If you Visit - Sign the Guestbook.
posted by deb at 8:54:00 AM | Link Me!

Anyone wanna know more about blogging?

I've had my blog since October, initially inspired by the great Kitty, and those interesting blogs I found through her, such as Patti. Kitty lead me to the Digital Divas, which has some GREAT articles.

So, if you have a blog OR if you WANT a blog, you may want to check these out:

Wouldn't You Like to Be a Blogger too?

And another article on blogging This will help everyone that has a webpage blog (NOT a Blogspot blog) about archives....
posted by deb at 8:49:47 AM | Link Me!

Notes to blog about: the bald guy that is semi-stalking me at the gym - jeff and katie - note from an Artist - Tina's blog - catch up on everyone else's blog.....

More later - hair is wet, kid is supposed to be getting out of bed. Damn, wish I could just stay home......
posted by deb at 6:46:19 AM | Link Me!

And many thanks to you, my dear. It makes my spirit jump in the air when someone tells me that I "rock". I've been whining and whining forever (since October?) for you to blog.

And I like hearing about your day. I really do. And if blogging causes more sex, then hey! What a wonderful world we all live in :-) Can someone pass that piece of info onto my dh??
posted by deb at 4:05:37 PM | Link Me!

There is more blogging comments to do:

First off, Jen, I'm glad to see your computer is back alive. Yes, I actually erased half of the main page for The Other Side. Dear Beth put it all into perspective for me last night when she laughed about it - in the black comedy sense of the word, what better file to screw up and lose then the main one? - And I gotta WRITE the stories before I can e-mail 'em...*g* And I really think my feelings have just been building up over time. I DO know that there are folks out there that appreciate what I do, but I get depressed sometimes when I see that The Other Side is receiving more than 100 hits a day...

So, no, it's not a one time incident that came up that made me feel this way, but the spilling of my guts was prompted by an e-card I received, telling me that my lack of posting made the sender sad, and that she really appreciated what I do....

And YOU GO GIRL on the Exercise classes. Yoga is GREAT (though I'm out of it right now, I miss it!!!) As I've been yakking about - it's SPINNING that really floats my boat right now...
posted by deb at 3:58:09 PM | Link Me!

There is so much you've said that I wanted to comment on. First, I'm glad you are feeling better. The caffeine in Excedrin is what does it, I think. I know it works great for me! And what better than chicken soup?

And I'm enjoying reading the different thoughts on friendships. I think I know the person who spends an hour or so at the neighbors daily? This is a VERY needy person, and to be her friend, you had to work hard at it, and basicaly forsake other friends (if I'm wrong, then, sorry, it's another tale to tell later). I admit that there are some folks I enjoy regular contact with - more now since I'm in a needy stage of my life as opposed to a year ago when I was stronger. I'm hoping to become more independent again...

I think our bodies NEED to cry to get all the ickies out of our system. I hate it, too, but sometimes we just need a good cry. I cry at movies, commercials, and for all sorts of other non-reasons when I don't feel well.

And thank you, thank you for your kind words on my writing. I really DO have some stories mapped out - about 10 of them or more (gasp) but I long to write a Christmas story - not for Zap's, but for The Other Side, but I just am afraid of giving away too much of the future in my universe....
posted by deb at 3:22:12 PM | Link Me!

oh, Misty! what is it with cysts? You aren't the only one I know of to have them! And I WAY understand on the infertility thing. We did the treatments...but not to the extent that Carol did....

And I'm sorry that you started today damn, right before our get-together...
posted by deb at 3:06:22 PM | Link Me!

Wanna hear a Christmas song? Xmas TV Bytes: Favorite Songs from Holiday Classics
posted by deb at 2:50:40 PM | Link Me!

okey dokey, folks. To those whose team I am on, I have just updated your blog templates to include all of our new friends...as well as fix some alignment things. I will e-mail you, but thought you might hit here before then....so, if it looks funky, or you don't like the text or anything let me know and we will fix it, 'kay?

And a note to anyone else that wants help from me on their template - add me to your time, give me admin abilities, and I'll work on it - then you can remove me from your team later...... (((hugs)))
posted by deb at 1:43:28 PM | Link Me!

Yes, you CAN do a wish list at Amazon.com See, here's my wish list - I started it as a way to "keep up" with things I wanna buy...
posted by deb at 10:58:59 AM | Link Me!

I bought this book for Emily yesterday though I haven't read it yet, I did go ahead and give it to her this morning. Since she is so into Harry Potter, I thought she would enjoy it....has anyone else read it?
posted by deb at 10:47:03 AM | Link Me!

And if I DO start writing again...

How many folks think they know what will happen to Trixie in my universe? Would love to see if anyone thinks they know *g*

And don't anyone worry about me...

I'm really pretty "ok" about how things are happening on The Other Side right now - just rolling along, a semi-observer at times.....
posted by deb at 11:08:07 PM | Link Me!

Why I don't Post Much Anymore

or...when deb was told to shut up, butt out, that she played favorites, etc....

Let's see where to start. First of all some history. When I discovered Zap's, there were only about 20 regulars visiting. This included DQ, Shana, Jewels, Steph, Jenni, Bethlorr and Mark Baker. We were a fairly active bunch, and posted daily, supported those that were writing, etc.

The site began grown, and The Other Side began about four months after I had found Zap's. By this point, it had grown more, but everyone was still active.

But the more people that came around, the harder it was - it grew, and though some still shared personal stuff, it was hard to get to know everyone. But I still believe in community. It had just gone rom a small town to a small city. More and more though, people spread their personal feelings about things such as politics, religion, and Dan VS. Jim. Now, parts I can handle, but other things get old after awhile.

And I was condemned by some for what I allowed over at The Other Side. When I decided to do it, it was with the feeling that there would be no censorship - that I would accept most stories, with a few small guidelines, etc. But don't think it's all been smooth sailing - I've gotten my share of hate mail for allowing such "filth" and taking something wholesome and turning it dirty. I was even told by one visitor that she prefered Zap's 'cause the folks there were more "moral" than The Other Side people.

Back during the whole "hurt author" mess over at Zap's, I was told by folks that I had thought were friends that I was unreasonable, that my views could and like would hurt The Other Side if it got out what part I played in the whole thing - and that my posting on some stories caused others to feel slighted, to question my motives, and that it would be just better off if I didn't post. That folks would like things better if I just stayed at arm's length, more like Zap. Basically, some of the comments, and e-mails got WAY personal and very attacking. So I withdrew. Besides, the timing was odd. It happened right before my surgery. And shortly AFTER my surgery, I lost someone that I thought was a good friend. (no, not by death, but it was the death of a friendship)

Besides, even though I was fostering community, or trying to, there were those who were trying to wreck it - and I was told that the atmosphere was "tense" and "unfriendly". So, though people visit the Other Side, they choose not to participate in the message board. Some will always be lurkers. Others flock over to Jixemetri for a cozier atmosphere - or over to Zap's when they wanted a larger audience. And everything that The Other Side board had done for them over the past year was pushed aside.

And sadly, I began to feel like a stranger over at The Other Side. I didn't know many of the new writers, those writers that I knew personally either were too busy to write much ( a couple of exceptions) or were creating their own web pages.

But I still feel strongly about what I can "give back" to the community. So I continue to provide a home for stories, so that writers who don't want to mess with their own page can have a place to put their stories. I will still continue to provide a message board for the few folks that choose to participate.

And, though most don't seem to remember, I'm the person that set up, and "owns" the pages that house the Trixie Belden Friends chat room. That page, though linked from Zap's, is mine - just like The Other Side, just like the Friend's Page.

See, I get occassional thanks for what I do, but usually it's as a tag to a submitted story. And I've gotten my feelings hurt alot lately. (yes, it is likely partially hormonal) I've been snubbed by more than one author in their author's notes the last couple of weeks - constributions I've made to their stories and/or advice / assistance obviously wasn't important enough, in their eyes to mention.

And, again, I feel like a total stranger - an outsider if you will, on my own message board - in my own chat room. Where would I even begin to start? I can't very well go back and try to post comments on every story that has posted since May. And if I were to start now, I might inadvertantly forget to make a comment to one person or another, and hurt feelings. Or have it seem as if I'm playing favorites.

So that, my friends, is why I don't post.
posted by deb at 11:03:23 PM | Link Me!

Well, tonight it's an arm workout and cycle class.

Yes, I've become addicted to it. NEVER thought I would. But I did...

I really MUST blog some tonight. Got a card from a little bird, telling me she missed my presences on The Other Side board....and that she wanted me to know that she appreciated my work there.

But see, I don't really think very many folks do appreciate what I do. I've been really disheartened at the lack of support these past few months.....

More on WHY I feel this way later. Please don't anyone think I'm directing it at them personally - just some thoughts....
posted by deb at 4:59:57 PM | Link Me!

Crazy, he calls me....sure I'm crazy...crazy in love....

oh, sorry, didn't see you there.

NO, you are NOT going crazy. This is the third graphic change today. Think we're gonna leave this one up here, though, at least for a week or two....

posted by deb at 4:52:44 PM | Link Me!

Oh, WOW, Shana! I saw your link to Sara. Is this the Same Sara - your friend Sara, that filled in for you while you were on vacation???
posted by deb at 11:45:54 AM | Link Me!

oh, and for those who are wondering about my links? Well, I will add the links of any Trixie friend that tells me of their blog - and will leave the link as long as you blog regularly....
posted by deb at 11:41:14 AM | Link Me!

Oh. And besides new graphics, I have links to some new pages for you to read. Another Trixie Friend, Chris has a blog going. I'm so excited that she is blogging! She is one of the first folks to ever comment on my blog!!

And I added a couple of links to other blogs I read....so you may wanna check 'em out...

As far as links, folks, this is how I see it. I was the first of the Trixie community to have a blog. If you want to link to it, so be it. This is a public blog. In fact, I'm thrilled when folks, especially folks I don't even know, link to me.

And if you don't want to link to me? Even if you got the idea from me? then don't!! It's YOUR blog, baby, not mine....and you have to do what you have to do, ya know?
posted by deb at 11:16:07 AM | Link Me!

Well, not Christmas, but Green....
posted by deb at 11:08:19 AM | Link Me!

ok - my story disappeared. I told you ALL about the party - how I panicked, how it was decorated for Christmas - when it wasn't a Christmas party, etc. and it disappeared when I hit post and publish.

Fuck it. Just know that I'm glad it's over. That I worked hard on it - that I stressed out. And hardly anyone commented that they liked it. Even gave compliments to my former boss who did nothing but help me pick the place last March.....

Glad it's over - sure you don't want the gory details...
posted by deb at 8:53:41 PM | Link Me!

Pretty Blogs...

Did anyone see that Patti changed up her graphics? So did Silver. Wow, everyone's getting all ready for winter.

If you see my notes below, I *tried* to change up my graphics, but my tables would NOT fill with the burgandy background I wanted. And the graphics are so pretty ::::sob:::: Guess everyone will just have to keep looking at these for a bit. Damn. Maybe I can find something else.....

And Blog Reading...

First of all, thanks to Misty, Kyrie, Tina, and Chris for mentioning my Day Without Weblog stories.

And now...some more notes as I read....

posted by deb at 8:10:55 PM | Link Me!

Sounds like you two had a great time, Tina And to go on record I *do* like the cucumber melon scent personally, and am glad it doesn't have onions. My very favorite is Juniper Breezes - but I've started liking one of the new ones - Citrusy Basil or something like that - it's light green....Hmm....maybe Trixie will just have to purchase some....
posted by deb at 7:57:12 PM | Link Me!

okay okay okayI KNOW I should be writing instead of reading, but I need a little morale boost, so it was good to see you wanna read more from me.

And work - yep - we recently changed over to Peachtree - and closing out the month seems to be harder than it used to. We still invoice through our apps system, and then import the invoices in....but I feel for you, baby. I don't blame you for not wanting to miss Saturday - we've been planning it for AGES - but I hate you have to work on Sunday. Can you stay late one night and work and get it over with?
posted by deb at 7:53:49 PM | Link Me!

ahhhhhhh! everything looks so nice! You are so good, Karen - our tree isn't even out of the attic yet....
posted by deb at 7:48:01 PM | Link Me!

you know what I wanna do? I want time to write - that's right - write. I have a couple of these stories just sitting on my computer, and since May I had lost all will to get them written.

Now I'm having major brain farts and technical difficulties....can I just take a break? blink my eyes and make things work? I was able to find a file dated 10/17 - but that's more than a month old.....I know it sounds really awful, but I hate having to re-build the file. And I can't even crib my own HTML 'cause I didn't know what I did til it was done....

Well, maybe I'll just add the direct links to The Other Side archive for now....
posted by deb at 1:06:43 PM | Link Me!

I'm so very bummed. I just deleted 1/2 of the Other Side's main page. How? I don't know. Don't know at ALL. But this is delaying the update. I had even UPDATED it, and when I went to check the links - 1/2 the page was gone. Just gone. I'm searching my hard drive now to see if I can recover anything recent.....

::::sigh::::::
posted by deb at 12:51:35 PM | Link Me!

Yes, I survived the party - thanks to sweet hubby and my friend from work Krista. oh - and about 4 glasses of wine... more of the gory details later. i'm at the gym trying to work off all the wine......
posted by deb at 2:23:52 PM | Link Me!