Ok, I have to admit when I went to blogger and saw this on the "most recently updated blogs", a bit of my love for blogger was restored.

I've NEVER seen Patti on this list before. NEVER. Maybe they finally wised up....
posted by... deb at 3:34:42 PM | Link Me!

And a bloggy kind of challenge...

...to all my Trixie friends

My challenge (whether you have a blog or don't have a blog):

Use the NAME of at least TWO of any Trixie Friend's blog in a piece of fan fic.

If the blog is on my list of links, you should be able to use the title (anyone who doesn't agree, please e-mail me).

I'll get a page loaded soon on The Other Side with details, and likely a deadline. I tell ya folks, anything to get you guys writing :-)

And before you ask, yes, I DID e-mail those bloggy friends and mention this, and the challenge was accepted by Misty and Karen - and support was given by Kyrie, Sue and Tina as well.

Anyone else up for the challenge?
posted by... deb at 9:00:11 PM | Link Me!

Or, as Patti so eloquently put it....

Hell, you know, I'd gladly PAY for Blogger service! Gladly. I'd pay $5 or $10 a month to have it available to me for personal publishing, to have my name in their directory (because I am a link ho). Gladly. Why can't I do that now? Where do I sign up? I want to see the contract - the contract that says I get good services for my cash.

But, I donated some money anyway. I donated what I thought was a fair amount for the time I've used the Blogger system. I thought that was the fair thing to do. I felt like I had done my part supporting Blogger. Just like I did when I put their button and link on my Blog. Then I sat back to wait for my thank you note to arrive via email.
posted by... deb at 8:45:59 PM | Link Me!

ok, ok. so I said I wasn't going to say anything else about the blogger fund. But Eric posted on the subject, and of course, like so many times, I love to read his take on things.

And of course, posted by... deb at 8:27:10 PM | Link Me!

WOW! Does Miz Kitty kick butt, or what? Has anyone seen her blog today? Groovy new design!!
posted by... deb at 7:55:54 PM | Link Me!

Oh, THANKS, Tina! Actually, it isn't as bad as I had feared it would be. I've been a little crampy, but nothing major - just a little "floody" And, thank YOU, too Sue. I'm sure this year will be GREAT for all of us Trixie folks.
posted by... deb at 7:52:28 PM | Link Me!

There was tragedy at Starbucks

Em and popped in for our Friday visit to our local Starbucks and there was a sign on the door:

our steamer is broken. we cannot make any drink that requires steamed milk

LOLOLOL

That's the majority of their drink menu. No cappacino, no latte, no Carmel Machiatto, no Cafe Mocha, no hot chocolate.

During the short fifteen minutes Em and I were there, about 20 people came in - and more than half left without getting anything. Yep. amazing that folks are so odd that they can't get a cup of coffee and ADD milk, ask for some flavored syrup.

I had my usual - Coffee of the Day w/ Half and Half - and Em was happy to settle for a glass of chocolate milk instead of hot chocolate.
posted by... deb at 7:53:30 AM | Link Me!

Ok, I finally gave up on Blogger for the night. This is probably posting in the early AM, but I'm really writing it about 1030 at night. Yep. Just typing in out in good old Word and I'll paste it into blogger if it ever decides to move along at any pace - other than molasses-kind of slow.

I've been putting this off….

but it's time to confess what happened on Sunday.

I worked out with Jeff on Sunday and we started out with measurements. I mean, I've gained weight. A Good 20 pounds since my surgery. Last year at this time, I was fighting to lose those last five or so pounds I wanted off, and now, I'm back worse than where I began TWO years or more ago.

Remember how I was wining about how HUGE my boobs seemed? Well, it wasn't my imagination. Jeff did measurements back in October - and at the largest part of my chest, I measured 38 - on Sunday, it measured 43. That is FIVE INCHES in size in 2 1/2 months. I wasn't even going to write about it, even though it (the inches and the weight gain) had be really really down, but Shana insisted that it would be a disappointment to ole Eric if I didn’t ;-)

Other than that, let's see - besides the 5 inches in the boobs since October, I've gained 1 1/2 inches in my waist and 1 1/4 inches in my hips. (for anyone keeping track, my measurements are now 43-33-41 1/2) My body fat, well, I can't remember what it was in October. Now it's pretty darn close to 29% (28.55%) and I had gotten it down to 23% back in late April.

And on top of the inches and stuff, I had really evil thoughts about Jeff….

Yep. Evil thoughts. NO, not SEXUAL thoughts. (get your mind out of the gutter). After our workout on Sunday, I was very frustrated. I actually thought about dropping him as my trainer.

Jeff and I go way back - I've been working out with Jeff for a good 2 years or so (gosh, maybe 3). On Sunday, I didn't feel he listened to me - wasn't hearing me tell him what my needs were. At one point during the workout, he even whined a bit about having to get a new card and re-write my new routine 'cause he kept having to scribble stuff out when I told him something wasn't working for me - and I snapped back "if you had listened to me in the first place…"

See, I have carpal tunnel - and my wrists can handle only so much stress. He started out having me do walking push-ups (WHAT is a walking push-up, you might ask? Well, you do a push-up, move your hand over, then move your let over and walk across the floor. All the while, you stay in the push-up position. I do regular military style push-ups - none of this on my knees stuff) So I had to do one set of walking push-ups to failure, do one minute of jump roping, and then go back across the floor the other way doing the push-ups. After that, my wrists were tired - and I told him that was about it for them. But he kept trying to have me do things that stressed out my wrists (another kind of push-ups, dumbbell pullovers, rows, etc.) I can do stuff with my wrists in a neutral position, but flexed? Nope!

The other thing is this: my stamina is fucking SHOT. I went so many months with no energy, that I've lost some of my cardio stamina, as well as my ability to keep doing reps in my weights. I tell him this, tell him we need to build my stamina. What do we do? Lots of cardio stuff combined with my weights - and doing really high reps.

So, here I am, my confidence shot, and I'm fucking failing at all the things I'm trying to do - can't do all the exercises he wants me to, can't handle the number of reps he wants me to do. I felt like such a fucking failure. Such a waste of time - like one of those whiney clients that I always hated hearing about - 'cause they never had any internal drive to push themselves.

And a part of me felt as if Jeff was feeling I was wasting his time.

I talked a bit to Mark about how I was feeling, and he said it must have been ME since I'm all hormonally screwed right now.

::::sigh:::::

I've really got to do some heavy thinking on it. I can't work out with him if I feel he's tuning me out - I mean, I KNOW what my body is capable of these days, and I think I do a pretty damned good job at pushing it myself.

So, do I give Jeff another chance? I'm doing the new routine (though I hate big parts of it). Do I have a heart to heart with him, and hope he listens? Cause I'm really really vulnerable now to all of the self-doubt, self-hating, self-confidence demons right now, and my bruised little ego can't take continued failure at what was once a very enjoyable pastime.

Or do I blow him off, this boy that I've come to love (no, not THAT way, but as a friend, kind of like a little brother) and find someone else - someone who doesn't know my past, what my body is capable of….

It's weighing really heavily on my right now, and I haven't been able to shake it. And that was 4 days ago.

Well, that's it for me tonight, folks. There are some other things I wanted to blog about, but wasted too much time. Next time, I'll do it this way again - and paste later. I need to hit the bed. I did a two-a-day thing today - at the gym at 5:00 this morning for my leg workout and then back up there at 7:00 tonight for the cycle class (which was pretty kick-ass, by the way). And tomorrow morning is an arm day at 5 AM. It's 10:44 now….that 4AM alarm is going to seem awfully early….
posted by... deb at 6:50:43 AM | Link Me!

I'm extremly frustrated with blogger tonight.

Extremly extremly frustrated

I have a regular routine in the evenings - and I really wanted to get some blogging done tonight, and it's too damned slow. I can't even see previous posts below as there is NOTHING in the bottom frame. It has taken me forfuckingever to get logged in....let alone the time for me to gather my thoughts!

Here I go, hopping on my soap box...

Yes, I donated to the server fund. Even though this is a free service, hey, I DO extensively use it. Even though I've had a "public blog" since October and it STILL isn't in the Blogger Directory, I donated. But all in all, I have to agree with what some other folks had to say today about the blogger server fund..... First of all, Faith, I agree. Look at me, I'm not a certainly not a big shot on the web - I don't do graphic design, don't create software, none of that stuff. But I'm part of the general blogger community, I've inspired some of my friends to use it (like the old Wella Balsam Commercial - she told two friends and they told two friends, and so on and so on...) Take a look at all the Trixie Friends that have blogs - most of those have started since December (Danielle, I believe was the only one that had a blog before I did) All I want from the community that blogger has built? To be listed in the fucking directory and possibly appear on the "Recently Updated Blogs" list.

And, yes, I agree with Amber, too. :::::sigh:::: if only I were brave enough to go the Greymatter route (which I'm not). Besides, the beauty of using blogger for me is that I can blog from home, blog at the office when I stay in for lunch, and blog from the gym. Couldn't do that using Greymatter. The other thing I've considered is just to do it by hand - but that just seems too complicated - and it would take me forever to figure out how to do the little perma-link things I'm so fond of....

OK, I'll get off of it for now...

posted by... deb at 9:46:43 PM | Link Me!

10 Words You Simply Must Know....Just a little linkage for my writing friends :-)
posted by... deb at 7:57:02 AM | Link Me!

Hey, today looks to be a much nicer day than yesterday - it's not too terribly cold out there......cool!
posted by... deb at 4:53:14 AM | Link Me!

Damn me, but I'm tired. I tried to be good and go to bed early last night, but sometimes there's just too much stuff to be done around here. You know, dishes, kids to bed. that kind of stuff. But I see I am running out of time (again). Let me go warm up the car, slam down the rest of this morning's cup of General Foods International Coffee (Suisse Mocha today..) and I'll be right back......
posted by... deb at 4:50:24 AM | Link Me!

Yes, I want to make Blogger faster. Do you? If you have a PayPal Account, it's really really easy. They are having some decent response....

See? I can be nice, even if the folks at blogger won't add me to the fucking directory and will never ever add me to the list of most recently updated blogs....
posted by... deb at 7:30:01 PM | Link Me!

Guess what?

I started my period!!

OK, so that may be way too much info for some of you, but I haven't had a period since May 17, 2000 (the day before I had my surgery). I had my last Lupron shot on October 12th - so the "six weeks to three months" to wear off was 2 1/2 months.

This means my body is hopefully on it's way back to normal...well, it's gone to hell, but hopefully soon I'll get it more back to the way it was pre-surgery.....

More in a bit, folks....
posted by... deb at 7:05:12 PM | Link Me!

I think I mentioned, didn't I, that I got this book from Cathy for Christmas? Well, I wanted to talk about today's entry...
We all have, within us, the inner strength, wisdom and creativity to reach our dreams....sometimes it's just buried too deeply within our day to day lives, we can no longer find it.

Gosh, hard to believe, isn't it? That "it" is there, deep inside.

There are six principles that will act as "guides" during this journey: gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy.

...maybe we can go through this journey together...
posted by... deb at 6:07:31 AM | Link Me!

I was getting ready to post, and Daniel came by to say hi (you remember him, don't you?) and I got all distracted.

Damn, but that boy is looking fine today - I had never really noticed the size of his arms, as he usually is wearing loose fitting shirts (or long sleeves) here at the gym. Today he has one these short-sleeved tight shirts on. I should have figured that, since he's a trainer, and is a boxer and such, but DAMN! It's not that he's this "gorgeous" kind of guy - pretty average looking hispanic guy, has had his nose broken a few times (part of it for a boxer - LOL), but just a presence...and those arms...

What inspiring thoughts he gives for fan fic....
posted by... deb at 5:46:11 AM | Link Me!

Did I tell ya that I'm not too fond of pushups?? And the jump rope is not my friend....
posted by... deb at 5:41:25 AM | Link Me!

I was too lazy to grind coffee last night, so I'm having a cup of of General Foods International Coffee. While that might not sound like a great thing to do while I'm watching what I eat, the sugar free versions only have 25 calories and 5 grams of carbs. And it tastes good (French Vanilla Cafe is what's in the cup, thank you!) and it's warm.

Yes, I need something warm 'cause DAMN it's cold outside. I just ran out to start the car warming and (let me say it again) DAMN IT'S COLD!!

Shit, I have more to say this morning, but I need to get my ass in gear if I'm gonna hit the gym this AM - will try to do a bit of bloggy stuff from there after I do the dreaded push-up and jump rope thing (more details on that in a bit :-)
posted by... deb at 4:52:50 AM | Link Me!

Is it just me, or is blogger really really slow tonight?

Has anyone checked em's page lately? Added a piece of art as well as a guestbook - and she has blogged a little - not much, but a little. She's been messing around with paint a bit, too. So when she is ready, I will load up some of that as well.

Well, tomorrow Em goes back to school, and I need to make myself get back out of the "everyone off" routine and back to the "everyone is working and going to school" routine. And the alarm goes off at 4:00 so that I can have some time for coffee, etc.

And for anyone interested, I'll start sharing some resolutions today.

Resolution for 2001 - Drink More Water

I'm thirsty, yet sometimes too busy, or too lazy to get up and get some more water. I LOVE water - prefer it over most things to drink (I'm not a soda drinker at all), but need to begin taking better care of myself.

Another Resolution - Vitamins

Do you take vitamins? Did you know that most women are iron deficient and calcium deficient in their diets? Take care of yourself, make sure you get enough of these things - low iron can cause low energy...

OK, I've begun to share - what about you? What are you hoping to do better this year?
posted by... deb at 9:17:52 PM | Link Me!

Well, it seems as if everyone had fairly nice holidays - sickness is not fun, but hey, it's just part of it, just not a fun part of life.... I'm glad your family is better, now. AND Slug? It's nice to be a slug sometimes. Not all of us can be entergetic and organized as you *g* I'm jealous that you seem to get so much done!! And it sounds as if you and Keith had a nice holiday, too. Your second one together?
I see you have been busy, doing some blog recruiting (welcome to the bloggy world, Sue) Also added a link to your blog, as well as a link to Steph's Blog. Glad you decided to continue on, Steph.

And YOU are blogging a little more regularly, now. so sorry that your sweet husband isn't feeling well. And sounds as if you had a nice new year's eve, even if you aren't employed. (ummm...did you get MY e-mail reply?)

And are YOU or YOU still out there?

OK - that's the end up my quickie bloggy update.

Hopefully more later....
posted by... deb at 5:42:19 AM | Link Me!

::::sigh:::::

I'm afraid my blog has become boring.

Yikes and double yikes.....

let's see if we can remedy that soon.....
posted by... deb at 5:41:55 AM | Link Me!

Morning, gang. I can't believe it's the day to ack to work. Yuck!!! I mean, I'll be glad to get to work in some ways, but with being sick, and the kids sick and stuff, I just didn't have time to get everything done that I wanted to get done!

Cathy gave me the book called "Simple Abundance" and it has a passage a day to read - and reflect upon. I'm caught up, and I'm trying not to read ahead *g* Hopefully, I will share some thoughts with you as time passes.

Last night, I basically finished my closet - pulling out some of my books and putting them on my bookshelf (tons of my books were stuffed up in shelves in the closet). Also tried to pull all of the too small and too summery clothes into one pile. It still needs a bit of work, but at least it looks a bit better. However, I stayed up WAY too late. I'm tired.

Gonna go do some bloggy reading before I wake up my family - catch ya in a bit...
posted by... deb at 5:35:12 AM | Link Me!

well, I blogged about what we had done over the past few days, actually finished up on what we did Friday, and it's gone.

Yep, hit Post and Publish and it disappeared into the netherland of the internet.

Well, let me just say

Happy New Year

anyone up to making some resolutions? i have some things on my mind, but not quite gathered my thoughts together. Still trying to recover from working out on Sunday and getting an update on my measurements - and am pretty depressed over that whole scenario...

So....hopefully things will be better tomorrow. AS it stands now, I have half of the content of my closet on my bed, and I'm getting tired. I need to get to bed soon, and have to put shit up so that I can.

sorry I've been so out of it - a combination of family being sick, me being sick, everyone home......

But, tomorrow is another day...
posted by... deb at 9:56:04 PM | Link Me!